Providence

I should have been blogging more in the past week, so much has happened I'm not quite sure how to catch this up. From the volcano Pacaya erupting, to a rat in the kitchen, the power going out and having candles always on standby, to a light bursting above me (not sure how I wasn't hurt, but GOD), to a tropical storm causing enormous devastation to my bank card being blocked. I could have seen these as reasons to retreat, reasons to doubt God. Instead, I chose to trust. I guess that's the neat thing about being here in Guatemala on my own right now. If I don't trust God, then I have no one. I do have friends here in Guatemala, of course, however they can't be there all the time, and I'm in Antigua. In Antigua I only have a few acquaintances.
Don't get me wrong, there are times when I've had to fight discouragement and on a phone conversation someone said to me "don't allow discouragement... get alone with God". That's when I realized I had forgotten my Bible in a friend's van. I bought a new one the next day... but that's a whole other story. But those words on the phone were exactly what I needed to hear. A kick in the butt, really.
The thing about being here with so much chaos happening is this: learning to depend on God even in the midst of impossible situations. Meeting new people, living with new people, going to school to learn Spanish, finding myself lost in Antigua almost daily. However I seem to be getting to know the area more and more, so I'm more encouraged about that.
I've been praying for a friend here in Antigua, but still I only seem to have acquaintances. But today I think God showed me there's a reason for that. He wants to show me what full dependence on Him really looks like, and how amazing it is. And I think then when I go back to Casa and there's others teaming up with me, and when I go home, and wherever I am 20 years from now, I will have learned dependence on God. I hope and pray that I will never forget these valuable lessons I am learning.
This story I'm about to tell I would have gladly shared the burden with someone else, but even if I hadn't been alone and the same circumstance happened, ultimately, I hope the story would have been the same.
Today I was in desperate need of a laundry mat. Here of course you can pay women for very cheap to do it for you, and since I'm spending my time either at the school or at the house catching up on emails and studying Spanish (other than the odd walk around Antigua) I thought I'd like to go to the lavandaria (laundry mat) and hire someone to do it.
But I could not find a lavandaria. 5 different people sent me on wild goose chases, but I just kept walking and wasn't 100% certain of where I was or where I was headed when God said to me so clearly, "turn around right now". And when you're a single woman walking in a strange town in a foreign country you're really not going to ignore it when God speaks to you that clearly. So I turned around. He then said, "turn right at the next opportunity, and then turn left". Somewhere in here I prayed for Him to show me to lavandaria, and I think to get me home as well, but either way He was doing it. So I took the Lords directions, and knew immediately where I was. I started walking towards my house and He said to me, "keep walking strait" (instead of turning right). So I did, and I kept look for a lavandaria. I couldn't see one, but I did see a Pharmacy - which God knew I also needed to pick up band aids for the blister on my foot. He also knew I've been really wanting m&m's and they had some of those too. So I turned back and on my way home, right on the way, I saw a sign... "laundry service" it said. So tomorrow, she'll be there at 7 am and I will bring my clothes for her to wash. Now, you might be skeptical of all of this, but see in the past several days I have been thanking God and praising Him for His providence and His peace. Why wouldn't He deliver? He is my friend right now. He is my GPS. He is my provider, my protector, my shield, my strong and mighty fortress. And he even cares about my craving for peanut m&ms. He's my Father in heaven, my Lord, my Savior. And He's my friend. The friend I prayed for is the One that has been with me all along on this journey. I thank Him all the time that I am never alone. This revelation is clearly laid out in the Bible, and I've known it since I was a little girl, and yet right now being here and having to fully rely on Him takes that revelation to a whole new level.
My prayer is that when things are easier and times are different than they are now that I would still remember and rely on His providence and not forget to ask for His direction, for His guiding hand, for His input, for His...
About 4 and a half years ago or more I started praying "God show me your will, direct my path, show me which way to walk". When I prayed it I meant in my spiritual walk, in big decisions in my life - and He's done that. But lately it's been simply getting me home.
And to a place where I can have clean clothes.
At the risk of repeating myself, my prayer is that these revelations would stand the test of time in my life. And that I wouldn't miss any revelations that He has for me in this time.
God's providence is an amazing, amazing thing.